Marriage
At the center of Paul message (in the undisputed letters, anyway) is the radical equality of all who live in Christ. While there are good texts to this effect in 1st Corinthians (e.g., 1 Cor 12:14-26), the classic expression of this radical equality comes from Galatians:
Galatians 3:27-28 As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.
I think it is important to really get this. Paul was not merely talking about a safe theoretical equality that doesn't require us to do anything differently—we're all the same before God—nor an equality that was limited to what happened within the congregation and its worship—slave, within these walls, you're my brother! He was creating a new society, a society in which everyone is equal, everyone is valued, and everyone is loved. As you read through 1st Corinthians, you'll see over and over again that Paul is battling the Corinthians' tendency to revert from his egalitarian vision to the norms of Roman society: divisions, food sacrificed to idols, sexual exploitation, the privileges of the rich, etc. And nowhere in the day-to-day life of a society are its norms more frequently encountered, or more rigorously enforced, than within marriage.
Roman society was built around the notion of power, the notion that some people had the right to do certain things to certain other people, or make those others do things for them. For the Roman, the law existed to define who had power, justice consisted of the unfettered application of the rights of power, and the legions existed to deal with anyone who resisted the perquisites of power. Within Roman marriage, men held power, and women did not. It was really that simple. The woman's role was to serve the man, and to be used by the man. Whatever power the woman had, e.g., over the domestic economy of the house, was delegated to her by the man, and the man could take that power away, or even cast her away entirely, if he chose. Women had no corresponding rights. In effect, women were property.
Christian society, as envisioned by Paul, is based on love, and radical equality. A Christian marriage is not built on power, nor even partnership, but union and love. Such high standards are difficult to obtain, especially when applied retroactively to marriages that formed under the old rules. Clearly the Corinthians struggled with this, at least this is the best explanation that I've heard for the following:
1 Corinthians 11:1-16 I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions just as I handed them on to you. But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the husband is the head of his wife, and God is the head of Christ. Any man who prays or prophesies with something on his head disgraces his head, but any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled disgraces her head—it is one and the same thing as having her head shaved. For if a woman will not veil herself, then she should cut off her hair; but if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or to be shaved, she should wear a veil. For a man ought not to have his head veiled, since he is the image and reflection of God; but woman is the reflection of man. Indeed, man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for the sake of woman, but woman for the sake of man. For this reason a woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man or man independent of woman. For just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman; but all things come from God. Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head unveiled? Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair, it is degrading to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. But if anyone is disposed to be contentious—we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.
The claim (and this comes from Borg & Crossan) is that married women were using their new freedom in Christ to practice celibacy, and shedding their veils amounted to a public proclamation of this choice. Understandably, both the choice of celibacy and even more so the advertising thereof would have been deeply shaming to their husbands. But there is nothing new here. How many times have we heard about the abuse of a new freedom? It takes time and experience to learn to use any freedom responsibly and well. It is no wonder that the Corinthians struggled.
I do not doubt that there were loving unions in ancient times, just as there are abusive marriages today. But societal norms change. Sadly, the sense of radical equality advanced by Paul was lost as church and empire compromised with one another. It seems to me that the church, contrary to Paul's teaching, took upon itself the role ensuring that a woman's place in marriage was one of subjugation. This has changed in some of our churches, but not all.
It seems hypocritical to me that some churches decry the damage that has been done to the institution of marriage by the sexual revolution, when they've done far greater damage themselves by preaching and defending an unhealthy (Roman) view of marriage against a healthy (Pauline) view. Indeed, I believe that the sexual revolution has resulted not in a decline of marriage, so much as a winnowing of marriage, with healthy marriages encouraged and deepened, and diseased marriages healed or euthanized.
Homosexuality
I know that my readers are eager to continue the discussion of homosexuality, and Paul's apparent condemnation thereof, which began in Can't Anyone Here Play This Game. I'm sure that you'll all remember the distinction between μαλακός and ἀρσενοκοίτης in 1 Cor 6:9, and the observation from BDAG that what is condemned here are catamite (man/boy) relationships.
I came across an amusing source a few months ago, “Orgy Planner Wanted” on the remainder shelf at Powell's. (For the cognoscenti, that would be the original Powell's, on 57th Street, next to the Metra station.) This book does a fairly broad survey of occupations and lifestyles in the Roman world. It's written in a generally light and humorous style, and therefore is the kind of book that one hesitates to bring up in serious conversation. But it was great train reading, and offered some fascinating information that I think gives tremendous insight into why Paul condemned this particular kind of relationship.
In the Roman (and Greek) world, male-on-male sexual activity occurred between relatively rich men, and vulnerable young boys. Sometimes, this was a simple money-for-sex transaction (i.e., male prostitution), and sometimes it grew out of ‘mentoring’ where an older man would “take an interest” in a young boy. I suspect you already knew this.
But here are some particulars that you might not have known.
These were inevitably temporary relationships, even in the ‘mentoring’ case: the emergence of facial hair changed the older man's feelings towards the younger from desire to disgust. So the boys we're talking about here would have been roughly between the ages of 9 and 15. We all know how Paul felt about intercourse: it created a life-long union through the merger of two into one flesh. Moreover, the older man would have himself already been married, and therefore this was not only a promiscuous union, it was also adulterous.
If it became known in these societies that a male was anal-receptive, then they would lose their citizenship (if they had it). Moreover, they would be taken, stripped, have a radish shoved up their anus with the leaves hanging out, and paraded through town so that everyone knew. There was no corresponding lost of stature for older, penetrating male: Hey, if you want to bonk boys, that's fine by us, just let us know when you find one who's willing, so that everyone can get in on the fun! Thus, a catamite relationship incurred great risks for the boy. If discovered, he was invariably reduced to male prostitution until puberty, and then slavery or death. There was no path to re-entry to society.
So these relationships, practically by definition, were temporary, promiscuous, adulterous, inequitable, and exposed the vulnerable partner to catastrophic risks. You hardly need to get into the ‘ick’ factor to understand why Paul would have opposed such relationships: our obligation as Christians is to support and lift up one another, not to exploit or degrade one another; moreover, we should recognize ourselves as the vessel of God that we are, and not consent to our own degradation.
Finally, I'd like you to consider the following—that other “proof text against homosexuality” from Paul, in light of this discussion:
Romans 1:26-27 For this reason God gave them up to degrading passions. Their women exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural, and in the same way also the men, giving up natural intercourse with women, were consumed with passion for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the due penalty for their error.
How many times have you read or hear this, and heard in the last line that the crime was the punishment? On one hand, this seems ludicrous, if homosexual sex is the punishment for homosexual sex, then I suspect that most gay guys would say, bring it on! What's the problem here? And why does the church insist on adding other punishments to those that God has already imposed? Perhaps it's a bit different if you imagine a young boy, sick with pain and humiliation as he is marched through the marketplace, naked, with a radish up his ass and its leaves trailing behind like a tail.
The Greek text, by the way, reads “ἄρσενες ἐν ἄρσεσιν,” literally, “males in males,” which is a good deal more explicit than our squeamish English translations. But what I want to call your attention to is Paul's choice of ἄρσην (male) rather than ἀνήρ (man). Every modern English Bible I have except for HCSB translates ἄρσενες in Romans 1:27 as ‘men,’ which bends the underlying meaning so that it seems targeted against homosexuality as we understand it today, whereas Paul's particular word choice conveys maleness, without conveying adult. It seems particularly worth noting given that Paul uses ἀνήρ forty-three times in the consensus epistles, and ἄρσην only four times—three times in this very verse—so Paul's word choice is very much an intentional choice to convey a nuance that the standard English translations (I suspected equally intentionally) obscure.
So how should we regard modern homosexuality, which is very different from the catamite relationships Paul condemned? Note here that promiscuity is certainly sinful, and nothing that I've written should be taken as supportive of promiscuity, irrespective of sexual orientation. But we also know of dedicated same-sex partnerships that have essentially all of the attributes of healthy Pauline marriages (modulo plumbing): they represent true unions, in which two faithful partners chose to live lives together, sharing joys and sorrows for so long as both live. How should we react to these relationships? Shall judge them by the old taboos, even distorting scripture to do so? Or shall we consider how such relationships impact the people who enter into them?
Matthew 7:18-20 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits.
So here at last is the answer. If the fruit is good, so too is the tree that it came from. Lifestyles that support the life and health of the participants, which lift them up, should be supported. Lifestyles that cheapen life, or damage the health of people involved, should be opposed. So put down that cheeseburger, get some exercise, love and serve the people around you, and if you have a partner, give them a good squeeze so that they know that they are loved too.
Peace